As I sit down to blog, I look at the time and I wonder if I should just go to bed. I know that I am not able to blog during the day, so my only options are to blog at night. When will the next time be? I never know.
Life is full of ebbs and flows and I must remember this fact all of the time. I am writing this post now because my life is mostly flowing and when it is not, I am not in the mood to write anything positive. If I am not happy, I am not going to announce it to the world. For instance, a lot of people will comment about how blessed I am, (which I am) and how great things are for me. They will remark on how I handle everything fine, realizing that there are hard times but acting as if the hard times are no big deal for me. While I do appreciate that they are giving me that much credit, I am not sharing all my hardships with the world to see while I have them.
Things get hard around here. Marriage is still marriage. Children are still hard to raise. Handling what life hands you is not always a piece of pumpkin pie. I am not a robot. I have feelings and sometimes they are negative. I am not going to share on my Facebook status that I’m pissed off at my mother, or that I am sad or lonely, or that I am frustrated that I am home and can’t go anywhere because I have three small kids who run in opposite directions and it’s unsafe. I don’t post that stuff. I don’t talk about all of that. Why? Because it is a feeling, and it will change. Another day will bring another feeling, and if it doesn’t, then I will have to make that happen. I am in charge of my own happiness and I can’t sit and wait around for my feelings to change.
There are definitely situations that you may not be able to control, and it may be difficult to change your outlook or feelings about it. But I think, your only option is to make the best of it, grow and learn as much as you can as you push through that situation. “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron. At least that’s one way to look at it.
I am a realist. I don’t want people to be misled about me and my life. I have my ups and downs just like everybody else in the world and just because I have a great husband and three adorable kiddos doesn’t mean it’s an easy life. I work hard. And I have trouble sometimes. In the end, I am grateful for my life and my experiences. I feel very lucky to have the family that I do have in my life. I wish life was just like the pretty pictures we take ALL of the time but in reality, that album would include some pictures full of tears and frustration. Things that nobody wants to talk about or acknowledge. Let’s talk about those things. Let’s relate to one another. Let’s share our experiences and not alienate each other.
I think that we all know that there is a ying and yang to most everything. And it makes us better for it really. Working through the difficult parts of life makes us appreciate the easy, fun parts more, don’t ya think? At the end of the day, we are left with our feelings, memories and legacy. Hopefully we are taking steps to make the most of our time with each other and make it all count. There’s no time for bickering about nonsense, nitpicking at every little thing another person does. It’s about sharing our best selves with those that we care about and appreciating others just as much. It’s not easy all of the time, that’s for sure, but I have learned that at the end of the day, I try to regroup and remedy the faults of one day for the next.
I’ve said it before how I don’t know how I feel about the afterlife, but it really is something that is on my mind a lot. Now that I have a husband and children, I care about my legacy and what memory I would leave behind. All of a sudden, it feels like there is not enough time to do all that I want to do but the important thing is, is that I am doing my best and being the best person I can be. Letting go of pettiness, while substituting meaningful time and appreciation.
I hope that you all are enjoying the life that you have. I know that it’s not always easy, and that sometimes the grass seems greener on the other side. But it’s like that quote, (you all know I like quotes by now)
“The grass is always greener where you water it.“