Every once in a while, I’ll plan a night out. I can’t do it very often because:
- I need sleep. And I already take away my time to sleep by reading at night, or watching a show or whatever I choose to do. Once my chores are finished, I usually take two hours or so to do something for myself, when I probably should be sleeping. Like right now for instance. I should be asleep right now.
- It’s expensive. We live on a budget and we can’t afford a ton of outings. We have to pick and choose which things work out and what doesn’t.
- The hubster needs help. He’s working his tail off at school and at work, and if I leave before bedtime, that means he’s finishing out the day all by himself. He is totally capable of doing everything, but he would still be doing it all while tired and already having had a full day. I have a different rhythm with the kids than he does, and so it can get kind of hectic for him when the routine is switched up. I mean, it’s 3 kids ages 3 1/2 and younger!
- My hangovers are hell. I am really good at pacing myself, and not drinking too much these days, but if I overstep that boundary….I am living in anxiety land the WHOLE ENTIRE next day. I can’t eat until the late afternoon, and I feel like doo doo. Doesn’t make for a fun day when taking care of three kiddos.
So, last night, I was going out. Most of the time if I go out, I’ll make it late, so that I can do bedtime, but yesterday, the plan was to go out earlier. My friend Tara was coming over and then we were getting dropped off downtown so that we didn’t have to worry about driving. (I had a DUI years ago and I will not be getting another one!) We were going to meet up with some other friends and watch some punk rock bands. I was prepared for a loud evening in a dive bar. I couldn’t wait.
On days like this, when I have plans, nothing can go wrong in my world. The kids can’t piss me off, the messes don’t annoy me…..because I AM GOING OUT LATER. I will get to breathe the air in a social climate where music is constantly playing and I am surrounded by my friends. It is a wonderful treat to break up my normal schedule. I love my family, but I am a very social person and I really thrive off of the energy of others. Music. Energy. Friends. Alcohol. Mmmm, I’m in love.
We went out, got to relax before going to the venue, and saw some friends in my old hood. We went to the show and I was pleasantly surprised at how good the bands were. I was prepared for really loud, screaming music, but it wasn’t like that. I mean, it was, but the good kind of loud, screaming music. I really enjoyed the bands, there were four of them, and the singer of the Golden Gurls gave me a CD. I took some pics and had a grand ole time. Then, it was closing time and we cabbed it back home like responsible drinking adults. The whole night was a success.
(There was a band called Pretty Monsters that went on before the headliner, but I didn’t get a picture of them for some reason.)
Morning came and the day began. It was wet outside and chilly, so it was perfect lazy Sunday weather. The kids were surprisingly well behaved today, and the boys even watched the movie, Mulan while Dora took a nap. I was able to lay down a bit during that time and I saw a glimpse of how cool it will be when the kids are older and moments like this can occur more often. Where I can actually relax for a minute. Taking care of three little ones is a non stop work shift. It is exhausting. But today, I saw light.
I was feeling pretty blah, but nothing super major and continued to mend as they day went on. Around 3:30p.m. I had a bloody mary to finish healing and let me tell you….that stuff is medicine. It just makes it all better
I’m glad I had my night out, and I’m gonna be good on that for a couple of weeks. It lets me get the ants out of my pants and then brings me back to home. I am refreshed (two days after the outing), appreciating my family, my friendships, my life and my home. Who knew that a couple of hours could do all of that?! I think about my pre-children life, and I had a ball. I worked my butt off and partied my butt off just as much. I don’t have to wonder what that life is like. I had it. I miss it every so often, and that’s when I’ll make plans. I have a different life now, and it has evolved into more of a selfless role, but slowly I will regain my free time and will be able to nurture more of my passions and interests. My family is in its early stages and you mustn’t take that time for granted. I’m always reading about how time passes you by before you know it. Here’s an example of something I read the other day in this blog by Devon Corneal. I’ve experienced that myself as well. It really is easy to get caught up in the dailys and miss the poignant moments. I just try to be as present as I can.
My point of this story was partly just to share it, but also to remind people, and especially caretakers to never let go of the things you love to do. Whether it’s going to shows with friends, or participating in events, or walking with your buddy, getting out, whatever it may be….I think it’s important to maintain that part of yourself in some capacity throughout your life. You can’t just give it all up because you have kids or because your swamped with school or work. You need to nurture that sense of self, that part of you that brings you joy. It’s important for your quality of life and self esteem. And your self esteem is everything. It affects everything. I will have to blog about that another time. I have had my bouts with self esteem over the years for sure and that is one thing I feel is very important to be on top of.
“Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.”